six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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