lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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