I wanna bring you to show and tell
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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