I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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