I forgot how hot balto sounded
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
