when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
