Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
