Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
