JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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