My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
