She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
bring money and cleavage
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
