So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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