tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
