Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
