There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
