Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
