I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
