I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
