U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
