If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
