It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
