If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
