like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
