I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
