I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he high fived his dick after we had sex
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
