I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
