When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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