Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
