so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
