I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Let's get the cat blown out
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
