Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
