I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
