New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
