You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
