I think my fart just growled at me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
