I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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