Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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