He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
