I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
