yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
