More tranny stories later!
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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