well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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