Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
