As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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