Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my sisters under your porch take her home
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
