Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
