every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
