ugly people sure do ruin things
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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