hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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