Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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