we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
