People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
