Plan B is the new Plan A
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
