I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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